I was 10 again

Away at the far end of my parents garden

There's a leafy bower

where garden waste is recycled

into fine compost

With a barrow full of clippings

I made my way

by the humming bees

through the tall grass and nettles

In that bower I stood

while the breeze caressed the leaves

The scent of new mown grass

evoking memories from my past

I was 10 again

running through the tall grass

chasing frogs in the meadow

making a hay rope with Francie

drinking milky tea out of glass bottles

eating chunks of sweet bread

I was 10 again

Up with the dawn

scouring the nearby fields for wild mushrooms

threading them through a knotted grass stalk

Carrying them carefully home

to cook on the range

I was 10 again

and dad was in the garden

leaning on the shovel

up to his chest in potato stalks

earthing the spuds

And

Mum was in the kitchen

humming the Little Beggerman

up to her elbows in flour

baking two cakes of brown bread

for the day

But now I am not 10

Francie is gone and the hay is no longer saved

and I don't know if mushrooms still grow wild

Dad, now a frail old man, is up to his chest in nurses and nuns

and mum is up to her elbows in phones eye drops and prayers

God bless them all the dead and the living

and God bless the ten year old girl

Love

Worn out Bodies

Frail, weakened limbs

Skin like tissue

Shaking hands,

Touch

Saddened eyes

Search

For something familiar

For a memory

For the soul mate

Wheelchair bound

Today he knows her

Today he remembers

Trembling lips

Kiss

Woolworths

an overloaded Anglia
with young faces expectant
drove into Sligo

the 9 were piled
sweating and overheated
in the back
of the Anglia

5 days to Santy
with Daddy driving
saying to counteract carsickness
"See the monkey climbing the tree"

piling out of the car in Sligo
mammy carrying two and leading more
ushered us to a safe place
while daddy parked

a short walk
and then
there it was
WOOLWORTHS

all our dreams
all our imaginations
unfolded before our eyes

we were ushered in
inside the double door
we stood in awe

miles of pick and mix
miles of glitter and red and gold
miles of toys and games
and games and toys
with a jolly red coated figure
watching over all

sent off to walk the aisles
under the watchful eye of
mammy and impatient daddy
and then they came
the words you dread

"what do you want?"

How can you choose
from a Christmas world of
WOOLWORTHS
sweets toys glitter and gold
I stood and looked
and looked
and looked
and looked
and daddy got impatient

I would have been happy
to be there in WOOLWORTHS
and see all there was to see
with mammy and daddy
knowing it was their special treat each year
to bring us there

an overloaded anglia
drove from Sligo
with 9 sleepy content children
one happily clutching
a weaving frame

A Prayer

Dear Lord protect the lonely

The fearful, sad and lost.

Give them strength,

Where strengh is needed

and friends to help them bear their cross.

Look kindly on the destitute,

Give them means to aid their way.

Ease the grief of those in mourning

To them solace, when all is grey.

To the silent longing of the lonely,

A hand in friendship be bestowed.

Let us see, when there is suffering,

When someone bears a bitter load.

Give the lost, and those in exile,

a candle shining through the dark.

The homeless, a sense of belonging

in a world so often stark.

Give each one, two arms to turn to

when despair is close at hand.

And a kindly soul to share our life with,

As we struggle through this land.

Dreams Of An Everyday Housewife

This was read out on RTE radio.

I am a housewife

My job it is clear

Clean washing and ironing

Throughout the year.

Kitchen and Bathroom

Bedrooms and Bins

Iron ‘til midnight

To pay for my sins.

Baking and budgeting

Making ends meet

Grocery shopping

Though I’m dead on my feet.

Gardener, counsellor

Nurse, PRO

On 24 hour duty

To help everything flow.

Though my dreams they are simple

My needs they are few

But prayers for my children

I daily accrue.

Let them be healthy

Wherever they roam

Do well and be happy

And come safely home.

For if they’re in trouble

Or very unwell

My dreams would be worthless

My life would be hell.

And when they are older

And out in the world

My dreams will be aired out

And gently unfurled

I will paint a masterpiece

Become a cottage dweller

(by the sea)

Sing Opera, in Covent Garden

And write my first BestSeller.

I will have a love affair

With Vienna, Paris, Rome

And when I’m feeling tired and old

I’ll take me gently home.

I’ll get a handsome lawyer

To sort out my affairs,

And employ a handsome writer

To edit my memoirs

I will grow old gracefully

Watching old reruns

Die peacefully in my chair

Amidst my dear loved ones.

Don’t think my dreams are phoney

For in this disarray

I study piano and singing

And paint or write each day.

Yes I am a housewife

With dreams like many more.

and while I wash and cook and iron

My dreams I simply store.

30th September 2003

Daffodils

Our new N4 is amazing

The whole west Dublin is praising

The ease of going over and under

Up and down the slip road’s a wonder

Nice neat lines and straight edges

Concrete dividers with ledges

At Esker a footbridge of black

To make up for the exit we lack

But this week I’m a bit lonely

When I drive on the N4 its just only

Whatever the new road fulfils

I do so miss the daffodils

WHAT’S IN STORE

WHAT’S IN STORE FOR ME WHEN I GROW OLD?

WILL I BE RESTING PEACEFULLY IN A MY CHAIR?

WILL I HAVE A CHAIR?

WILL I STILL HEAR THE CALL OF THE CUCKOO?

WILL THERE BE A CUCKOO?

WILL I BE SITTING LONELY IN MY ROOM,

WAITING FOR THE PRODUCTS OF MY WOMB

TO PAY THEIR DUTY CALLS?

WILL MY EYES BE DIMMED,

MY EARS BE DULLED,

MY HAIR GONE THIN,

MY TEETH ALL PULLED?

SWOLLEN JOINTS,

BREASTS ALL SQUISHY,

LIVER SPOTS,

FOOD ALL MUSHY.

STANDING AID

WALKING AID

HEARING AID

SITTING AID

DEPENDANT,

CRITICAL,

AFRAID,

LONELY,

SAD.

WILL I GET A PHONE CALL

OR A REMINDER IN THE POST,

SAYING “BRACE YOURSELF, OLD AGE IS CLOSING FAST”.

AND THEN I’LL SQUEEZE MY BUM

INTO A PLASTIC CHAIR

AND SHOUT

“COME ON, DO YOUR WORST,

YOU’LL FIND NO SLACKERS HERE”.

I’LL SIT AND THINK

AND REMEMBER ALL THOSE LOVELY TIMES

I THOUGHT THEY’D LAST ALWAYS.

WHEN YOUTH AND VIGOUR WERE ALL MINE,

ON THOSE GOLDEN SUMMER DAYS.

In The Quiet

In the Quiet moments

Of the morning

When everyone was gone

The children to school

My husband to work

And the house was silent

I sat and reflected on my life

Where I am at,

What I am doing.

Initially

All the loud thoughts came

You should do this

Or you should do that

The house is in a mess

There are clothes to iron

And on and on.

Then somewhere deep down

A little thought was heard

It was only a little thought

But when I listened for it

I could not hear the others

“You’re doing fine” it said

“You’re doing fine”

Then the little thought

Grew and grew

And when it reached

My fingers

And the tips of my toes

I knew

It had always been there

But I had never listened

Hard enough.

Where Am I?

I am

Driving to work

Typing, posting, talking, creating,

Having lunch

Making plans

But where am I?

I am (in parish)

Singing, baking, creating,

Organising, Liturging, shopping

Talking, printing

But where am I?

I am (at home)

Cleaning, washing, sorting

Baking, ironing, gardening,

Farmvilling, facebooking, blogging

Advising, caring, loving, feeding

But where am I?

I am Bernie

But somehow, somewhere

I Got lost in the doing of stuff

I Got lost in the stuff of doing

I must find me

Before I am lost

Forever

But where am I

A Little Corner of my Heart

Poem I wrote after my sister had a miscarriage.

I'll never hold your little hand

I’ll never comb your hair.

I’ll never touch your cheek at night

and tell you how I care.

I’ll never see you running

or walking by my side.

I’ll never tuck you in your bed

we won’t play peep and hide

I’ll never hear you cry at night,

or see your happy glow

as you glory in the sun,

or see you play in snow.

But there’s one thing I’m certain of

however long this life.

You’ll always be a part of us

in happiness and strife.

And when the pain has lessened

and the emptiness has flown.

A little corner of my heart

Is yours to call your own.

Relax

THE DOCTOR SAID,

“FOR YOUR WELLBEING AND HEALTH

I PRESCRIBE NOTHING LESS

THAN TO ELIMINATE TENSION

AND ELIMINATE STRESS”

I SAID “THANKS DOC,

THAT, I WILL TRY TO ACHIEVE

AND I KNOW IT IS POSSIBLE

IF I BELIEVE

I CAN.

I’VE BEEN AROUND,

I KNEW WHAT TO DO

JUST BUY ONE OF THOSE TAPES

THAT RELAXES YOU THROUGH.

INTO THE HEALTH SHOP,

MY MISSION WAS CLEAR

“A TAPE FOR RELAXING

DO YOU HAVE ONE, MY DEAR”

SHE SAID

“DON’T, MY DEAR, ME

I’VE HAD A HELL OF A DAY

WITH THE REGISTER BROKEN

AND THE BOSS GONE AWAY.

THE SOYA MILK’S SOUR,

THE ORDERS ARE LATE

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE

THE VEGEBURGERS ARE OUT OF DATE”

“O WELL, A TAPE WAS IT,

YES THERE’S SOME OVER THERE

THE ONE PLAYING JUST NOW

IS THE ONE I LOVE TO HEAR.”

“I FIND IT RELAXING

IT WIPES ALL CARES AWAY

SOOTHES MY NERVOUS TENSION

BY NIGHT OR BY DAY.”

“THAT’S 8.99,

O BLOODY HELL

THIS BLEEDIN’ TILL IS CHRONIC.”

I SAID

“NEVER MIND

WHERE’S THE NEAREST PUB?

I’LL SETTLE FOR A GIN AND TONIC.”